i-dont-have-a-choice
People hate that I flip two cigarettes
Upside down in each pack
for luck,
But I hate that people notice
When you gain three pounds,
But not when you buy a new hat.
I’ve been told that the way I sleep
With one leg draped over
The person lying next to me
Is annoying,
But I think it’s annoying
When people tell me
I look pretty,
But only when I paint my face.
I’ve heard that old men
Like to touch the girls who work late at bars,
But I want to know
Why they never kiss the women they married
fourty-two years ago.
I’ve noticed that mothers teach their daughters
That it’s rude to refuse a hug
From an uncle they’ve met three times,
But forget to teach them
That they aren’t obliged to kiss
The boy who paid for dinner.
anotherwordforinevitable
fishslut:

of-the-yellow-ajah:

unbuttonedinawood:

i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.

And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it. 

are you satan

fishslut:

of-the-yellow-ajah:

unbuttonedinawood:

i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.

And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it. 

are you satan

radioactivepigeons

popsugartech:

sagansense:

“A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called “leaves”) imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.”
Carl Sagan

Pledge to the printed page.